Communication with a Heart
We believe people with something to say should have the opportunity to express themselves, and the responsibility to deliver their message with kindness and respect. Practicing civility is how you get good, and how a community gets great. At the center of this initiative are Nine Tools of Civility and one wish: for the “peace” in “Speak your Peace” to be taken to heart.
Speak Your Peace is a civility project of Incourage. It is a resident-led campaign to improve communication by reminding ourselves of the basic principles of respect. It’s not a campaign to end disagreements.
Speak Your Peace was originally founded in 2003 by Duluth-Superior Area Community Foundation. In 2008 Incourage adopted the campaign, which is based on the work of P.M. Forni, author of Choosing Civility. Since that time, local businesses, organizations, municipalities, schools, and individuals have pledged to use the Nine Tools of Civility.
Nine Tools of Civility
1. Pay Attention
2. Listen
3. Be Inclusive
4. Don’t Gossip
5. Show Respect
6. Seek Common Ground
7. Repair Damaged Relationships
8. Use Constructive Language
9. Take Responsibility
Impact
Since adoption, countless presentations have been delivered to local businesses, clubs, churches, nonprofits and schools, with over 5,000 people hearing the Speak Your Peace message. This includes:
- Area technical college – presentations have been given to cosmetology students, supervisory groups, correctional officers, operating room technicians, and IT groups.
- Municipalities – civility tools practiced by several local cities, towns, and villages.
- Schools/School Boards – campaign has been incorporated by students, teachers, staff, and administrators.
- Churches – Speak Your Peace themed message series offered during service.
- Programs – Why & How to Run for Elected Office; Speak Your Peace is a civility platform for individuals interested in running for office. Speak Your Peace is incorporated into annual leadership programs for local teens and adults.
Speak Your Peace Online – Tools
- Common Resolution
- English poster
- English Nine Tools of Civility
- Hmong poster
- Hmong Nine Tools of Civility
- Spanish poster
- Spanish Nine Tools of Civility
- Speak Your Peace Lesson Plans
Additional Resources
Speak Your Peace Lesson Plans
Practicing civility is how you get good, and how a community gets great. Use these lesson plans for each of the 9 Tools of Civility to teach others how to put Speak Your Peace into action.
Lesson 1.1 Show Respect – Don’t Dis Respect
Lesson 1.1 Show Respect – Words of Respect
Lesson 1.2 Show Respect – I’ve Got An Idea
Lesson 1.2 Show Respect – Respectful Writing
Lesson 1.3 Show Respect – The Looking Glass
Lesson 1.3 Show Respect – Your R Rating
Lesson 1.4 Show Respect – Cultural Links
Lesson 1.4 Show Respect – Dear Abby Letter
Lesson 2.1 Be Inclusive – Creative Initials
Lesson 2.1 Be Inclusive – I Like People Who …
Lesson 2.2 Be Inclusive – The Car Wash
Lesson 2.3 Be Inclusive – We Think They Think
Lesson 2.3 Be Inclusive – Don’t Make My Brown Eyes Blue
Lesson 2.4 Be Inclusive – Are You In Or Out?
Lesson 2.4 Be Inclusive – Caring and Empathy
Lesson 3.1 Listen – Listening With Purpose
Lesson 3.1 Listen – Are You Really Listening?
Lesson 3.2 Listen – Music Mapping
Lesson 3.2 Listen – Listen To The Wright Family
Lesson 3.3 Listen – Where Am I Going?
Lesson 3.3 Listen – Write What You Hear
Lesson 3.4 Listen – Awesome Trouble
Lesson 3.4 Listen – Quiet Noises
Lesson 4.1 Pay Attention – A What?
Lesson 4.1 Pay Attention – Oh Say Can You See …
Lesson 4.2 Pay Attention – Look Before You Leap
Lesson 4.2 Pay Attention – Noticing
Lesson 4.3 Pay Attention – Are You Observant?
Lesson 4.3 Pay Attention – Does Appearance Matter?
Lesson 4.4 Pay Attention – The Nit and Gritty
Lesson 4.4 Pay Attention – What Do You See?
Lesson 5.1 Take Responsibility – What Matters To You?
Lesson 5.1 Take Responsibility – Putting Things In Order
Lesson 5.2 Take Responsibility – Make It Work 1
Lesson 5.2 Take Responsibility – Responsibility and You
Lesson 5.3 Take Responsibility – Make It Work 2
Lesson 5.3 Take Responsibility – What Do You Do?
Lesson 5.4 Take Responsibility – Personal Discovery
Lesson 5.4 Take Responsibility – Visualizing Responsibility
Lesson 6.1 Don’t Gossip – Put A Stop To The Talk
Lesson 6.1 Don’t Gossip – The Gossip Web
Lesson 6.2 Don’t Gossip – I Heard That …
Lesson 6.2 Don’t Gossip – That’s What I Heard
Lesson 6.3 Don’t Gossip – What Goes Around Comes Around
Lesson 6.3 Don’t Gossip – What I Heard
Lesson 6.4 Don’t Gossip – Gossip As Harassment
Lesson 6.4 Don’t Gossip – Fact Or Fiction
Lesson 7.1 Apologize – What Do You Do And How Do You Say It?
Lesson 7.1 Apologize – What Does It Mean?
Lesson 7.2 Apologize – Forgiveness Is A Gift To Yourself
Lesson 7.2 Apologize – I’m Sorry
Lesson 7.3 Apologize – The Soft Voice of Forgiveness
Lesson 7.3 Apologize – I Did Something Terrible
Lesson 7.4 Apologize – What Did I Do?
Lesson 7.4 Apologize – Write It Down Tear It Up
Lesson 8.1 Be Agreeable – Agree Or Disagree
Lesson 8.1 Be Agreeable – Cooperation Wins
Lesson 8.2 Be Agreeable – 48 Hours
Lesson 8.2 Be Agreeable – Build It
Lesson 8.3 Be Agreeable – Healthy Unhealthy Expression
Lesson 8.3 Be Agreeable – Rap Contest
Lesson 8.4 Be Agreeable – Choose To Agree
Lesson 8.4 Be Agreeable – Reaching Consensus
Lesson 9.1 Give Constructive Criticism – Avoid the Negative
Lesson 9.1 Give Constructive Criticism – Compliments and Criticism
Lesson 9.2 Give Constructive Criticism – Community Letters 1
Lesson 9.2 Give Constructive Criticism – Creating Positive Statements
Lesson 9.3 Give Constructive Criticism – That’s Music To My Ears 1
Lesson 9.4 Give Constructive Criticism – That’s Music To My Ears 2
Lesson 9.4 Give Constructive Criticism – How Do You Start Hard Conversations?
Speak Your Peace Activities for Groups & Organizations
Practicing civility is how you get good, and how a community gets great. Use these exercises for each of the 9 Tools of Civility to teach others how to put Speak Your Peace into action.
Be Inclusive – Inclusive activity: Group activity designed for 8 or more people
Be Inclusive – Inviting perspectives
Don’t Gossip – How Do We Stop Talking?
Don’t Gossip – What are we talking about?
Listen – What a Good Listener Looks Like
Listen – Listening Practice
Listen – Listening Challenge
Pay Attention – Distractors
Pay Attention – Feeling Cards
Pay Attention – Recognizing Emotions
Pay Attention – Recognizing Emotions, Part II
Pay Attention – What’s Going On?
Repair Damaged Relationships – Building Your Relationship Network
Repair Damaged Relationships – I’m Sorry
Repair Damaged Relationships – Apology quotes
Repair Damaged Relationships – Strengthening Your Relationship Network
Show Respect – The Power of Non-Verbals
Show Respect – Yes And
Seek Common Ground – What do you see?
Seek Common Ground – What Do You See? Old Lady/Young Lady?
Seek Common Ground – Scene Setter and Response Cards
Take Responsibility – Excuse Worksheet
Take Responsibility – How To Be A Responsible Person (And Feel Great!)
Take Responsibility – Putting Things in Order
Take Responsibility – Putting Things in Order Worksheet
Take Responsibility – Excuses, Excuses
Take Responsibility – Case Study: Tylenol Recall
Use Constructive Language – Reframe that Statement
Use Constructive Language – Reframe that Statement Worksheet
Use Constructive Language – Guidelines for Giving Feedback
